Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not the biggest fan of lesbian porn. For some reason I find it really difficult to masturbate to something that doesn’t involve a petite hottie getting slammed by over twelve inches of man meat. And don’t even give me the whole ‘what about lesbian strap on action’ argument because it is not going to work.

The bottom line is that its a big deal when I cum across some solid lesbo porn that I can sit through without having my penis retract. Allow me to share some lesbian porn that I don’t mind…

The following free lesbian porn videos come to you courtesy of my friends over at Lesbian Training, a lesbian porn website that does not suck. You may recall when I dropped some knowledge on you and let you know how you can score interracial porn for only a buck a while back. It’s the same deal on Lesbian Training. You can join for just a buck, so you really have no excuse to check out their members area right now.

Once you navigate over to Lesbian Training, you’ll be overloaded with super hot high-quality lesbian porn videos and pictures, all containing horrible acting which is more than made up for by the fact that all of the chicks on this site are hot as hell. It’s kind of like watching a Lindsay Lohan movie, only on Lesbian Training, you don’t have to imagine anyone naked.

I also like Lesbian Training because the action is pretty hardcore. Lots of anal play and novelty gigantic dildos. Squirting action? Lesbian Training has that too.

Enjoy these free videos, and if you want more, make sure to check out Lesbian Training for more free pictures and videos. I would recommend that you join the site for a buck. Why? Because you cannot afford not to.

Ahh, it’s Memorial Day weekend again, and countless people have made the trek to Vegas to take part in the festivities. Me? I decided to keep the debauchery confined to the greater Los Angeles area for the weekend in order to avoid a lengthy detox/recovery period following the three day weekend.

Last year, I wrote a pretty detailed post which outlined the many ways in which any given Vegas trip sucks balls. This year, I’m way too busy eating weed brownies and drinking a lot to put together anything close to a coherent thought on my blog, so I’ll just point you towards my favorite reality Vegas sex site, Whore Wagon, which should have everything you need to experience Vegas fun from the comfort and safety of your own home.

Check out the video above for some awesome Whore Wagon madness in the middle of the Vegas strip.

While masturbating to surfing around Whore Wagon earlier this afternoon, I got a call from one of my friends who was in Vegas enjoying douchebag heaven A.K.A. the Rehab party at the Hard Rock Hotel. She claimed that a random guy (Persian and most likely wearing a trucker hat with a bandana under it) just gave her four hits of E along with an eightball of blow and invited her to his suite at the Mandalay Bay. Vegas never disappoints.

Enjoy the holiday weekend. I am really busy finishing some Coronas so I can head out to down some sake at a sushi restauraunt and then try to get laid.

I’m not sure how I managed to blog last week. I was really busy locking myself in my room and masturbating to some new Casey Parker porn galleries while drinking Jack Daniels on the rocks and crying about my childhood. I haven’t posted any hot porn here for a while, so I figured I would give you, the Fat Dick Simon valued reader, some masturbation material to keep you busy for a while. What am I about to hit you with? Casey Parker, of course.

I’ve posted some links to Casey Parker free porn galleries in the past, but I am happy to be able to point you in the direction of some excellent hardcore galleries in this post. All of these galleries just surfaced, so I have some fresh pictures and videos for you to throw a beat to. Of course, if you like what you see, you should definitely consider joining her site so you can view all of the high-quality videos and high-resolution pictures along with taking advantage of regular updates and live shows. I’m actually a member myself, and I have to say that I definitely enjoy the content. You won’t find a better mix of hot solo photoshoots and hardcore fucking on any other site. Click here to check out Casey Parker’s site.

I’ll save you the extra commentary on how hot these galleries are and let them speak for themselves.

Casey Parker and Sascha fucking around [pics]

Casey gets worked on a hotel bed by a big cock [pics]

3-Way Lesbian sex on a slip-and-slide [movies]

Naked super soaker fight outside [pics]

Casey and her girlfriend have hot sex on a pooltable [pics]

Casey rides a thick dick like a pro [pics]

Casey fucks and sucks on her bed [movies]

Backyard pussy eating and 69′ing [movies]

Super hot strap-on dildo action [movies]

See more free samples at Casey Parker’s official site

So there you have it.  Don’t masturbate too much.  You’re welcome.

It’s been super slow around here for the past few weeks, but I think I have a good excuse…

I don’t want to jinx anything because the ink has not dried yet, but I am set to launch two major projects over the next few weeks.  One will be launched within a week, and the other has a tentative timetable of five weeks.  Both are pretty major projects as opposed to the shit that I typically turn out to pay the rent.

So, you’ve been warned.

I will be making a conscious effort to actually post here now that things are returning to order.

It’s been really long since I posted last. I’ve been super busy, and I’ll probably get around to posting some sweet stories about my heavy drinking, drug use, and trip to Las Vegas last week tomorrow. Right now, it’s about 3am, and before I go to sleep, I wanted to tell you about my newest site, XXX Whack Shack.

First, let me say that it is a complete piece of shit. I made it in about forty-five minutes. (I started around 2am).

Regardless of how shitty my sites are, you, the surfer, always win. Why? Because XXX Whack Shack contains a pretty lengthy list of pornsites you can join for free. And I’m not talking about being able to view a few pictures and a grainy video. No, my friend, I am talking about legit memberships to pay pornsites for free. I know that I have showed you how to join pornsites for only a buck in the past, but this is a completely different ballgame.

You’re probably asking how it is possible to join a membership pornsite for free. The answer is simple. Many pornsites offer free trials in hopes that surfers will eventually join the paysite once their trial expires. I could give a flying fuck whether or not you eventually start paying. Allow me to point you in the right direction via XXX Whack Shack.

So stop getting jerked around all day trying to check out free porn. Stop going through pop-up window hell, and stop your monthly visits to Best Buy to get your spyware deleted. Check out XXX Whack Shack and enjoy full-length porn movies on paysites completely free of charge.

It really is completely free. I swear to Allah.

Just in case the homosexual color scheme didn’t make it clear enough, my blog is officially one year old. The year has flown by, I’ve learned a ton about the adult instry, business has been good, and my online empire does not appear to be shrinking anytime soon. What I’m trying to say is that I am kind of a big deal. I’m trying to reach celebrity blogger status this year, so tell a friend, add me to your blogroll, and continue reading. Daily.

In case you are a recent Fat Dick Simon reader, allow me to point out a few of my favorite posts from the past year. Of course, you can always hit up the Archive Page to get a full list of blog posts from the beginning of time.

• TV Shows You Can Beat Off To In A Pinch
  I got some heat for throwing the Tony Danza Show in this list, but it is an essential read for the times that you need to beat off and don’t have any porn.
• POV Porn vs. A Puerto Rican Hooker
  A detailed, first-hand account of the differences between masturbating to point of view porn and fucking a Puerto Rican Hooker.
• My Penis Does Not Like When I Mix Substances
  This was posted after yet another night of too much weasel dust and not enough erection.
• Fat Dick’s Guide to Doing Your Girlfriend Up the Butt
  I’m waiting for someone to leave me a ‘thank you’ comment on this post because if you can’t do your girlfriend up the butt after reading these step-by-step instructions, you are fucking stupid.
• Fat Dick’s Guide to Drinking Heavily
  I was drunk when I wrote this but it reads like the sweetest literature ever. Yet another example of why I am really good at drinking.
• How to Cover Up a Bed Wetting Incident
  Yeah, I wet the bed. Yeah, some bitch was in it. Read about how I covered it up. Oh yeah, and I link to some hot pee porn.
• Someone Tried to Kill Me Last Night
  Really, some fucker actually did try to kill me.
• The Guy Who Tried to Kill Me: Revisited
  Really, I encountered the guy who tried to kill me at a party.
• How to Smooth Over a Puking Incident
  If you find yourself losing friends after a puking incident, check out my instructions on how to make a sweet card the bitches are sure to love.
• The Tequila Only Challenge
  One of my latest escapades involving tequila and… Oh yeah, just tequila.

So thanks for stopping by and reading my blog. It’s probably one of the better blogs on the scene right now, so you made a good choice. You should probably leave me a comment and tell me how much you like it.

Oh, and if this post didn’t hit the spot for you, here’s a small white chick getting fucked up the ass from Interracial.com. Enjoy, you sick son of a bitch.

Earlier in the week, Casey Parker, Shane’s World’s newest contract girl finally launched her personal website. Currently, the site is experiencing excellent success, and the reason that I have not posted lately is because I have been way too busy masturbating to all of her videos. With her regular updates, it may be difficult to continue posting regularly.

I first met Casey Parker at a bar in Hollywood, when I ran into her by chance. Our first encounter did not go so well as she did not believe that I was involved with the adult industry as I claimed to be. After grilling me on exactly what I did for a living, it was clear that Casey and her friend thought that I was completely full of shit, so I decided to hit on fat chicks instead. All was forgiven when I once again ran into Casey Parker at Webmaster Access and the record was set straight.

It’s hard to stay mad at a hottie like Casey Parker. I’m sure that her site is going to be a huge success. She’s super hot and she has a great personality as well. Oh yeah, and she absoutely loves fucking on film. Anyone who has checked out her first DVD knows exactly what I’m talking about.

How sure am I that Casey Parker is going to do well? So sure that I am not even going to sugar coat these free Casey Parker porn links with a lame ass story. I’m just going to give them to you… straight up.

Being that Casey Parker’s porn website just launched a few days ago, I am not privy to much promo material, but I managed to track down these free Casey Parker porn galleries for you. Check them out, masturbate, enjoy, and go ahead and join Casey Parker’s website. Money well spent.

Here she is going hiking. There is nothing hotter than a chick in hiking boots, hiking socks (traditionally worn regularly by lesbians), and a shaved vagina.

Here she is getting naked… in a shopping cart. I caught a homeless guy masturbating to this gallery in the public library yesterday.

What can she do with a corquette club? You probably already know.

Casey Parker’s car is dirty. And nothing gets a car clean like two topless blonde hotties getting soapy on a hot day.

Cooking can be fun. I bet that Emeril can’t do what Casey parker does in this gallery.

Lesbian action in a horse stable. The lawyer says this one is still cool to post, though.

Bubble bath fun. I wish it was this hot when I masturbate in the bathtub.

CHECK OUT CASEY PARKER’S SITE

As I write this, I am recovering from the two day drinking and business binge that was the XBiz Hollywood Conference. There was a great business vibe in the air for the whole show, the seminars were interesting, and the parties were, um, ok. But there was tons of free booze, which made up for any shortcomings of the parties themselves.

The night before the show, there was a party in the Roosevelt Hotel lobby. By the way, the Roosevelt Hotel is super nice. I went to the party planning to only stay for an hour or two and not get drunk, but someone I met challenged me to a shot contest, and I ended up getting completely smashed, somehow catching a cab home, and passing out after talking jibberish for slightly less than an hour.

When I woke up the next day, I felt energized and ready to attend a talk on the .xxx issue. The fact that I felt great further proves that there is, in fact, a difference between brands of liquor. I pounded about fifteen shots of Belvedere the night before, and I doubt that I would have felt the same if I had pounded fifteen shots of Popov. The .xxx talk was pretty heated because Stuart Lawley (the person who began the .xxx movement) from ICM was on the panel. I was hoping that chairs would be thrown at him by angry industry professionals, but unfortunately that did not happen. Rather than describe the panel, I’ll just point you to my boy Q’s detailed write-up of the event.

Following the .xxx panel, I immediately started getting trashed at the Tropicana Bar where the average drink is $14. The dent in my wallet was only temporary, as an open bar started at 4:30PM, and there was an open bar at 2PM in the XBiz suite. I staggered over to Hooters for a few minutes, but had to leave to make it back to the XBiz suite for their party.

XBiz had the Marilyn Monroe Suite in the Roosevelt Hotel. They also had some hot go-go dancers, two bars, and so many people that they ended up having some problems with the fire marshall. The suite was absoutely amazing. It was three stories, the third being a huge rooftop area.

I left the XBiz suite to head over to the AdultSpace party at a hot Hollywood club. I want to personally thank AdultSpace for delivering on absoutely nothing that they promised for the party (notice how they don’t get a link). My group and I had to buy bottles and deal with a bunch of Hollywood bullshit to get into the club even though we were supposed to be on the magical AdultSpace VIP list, and once we got inside, we realized that there were about five people from the adult industry in the club. There was, however, a constant line of Persian guys in Diesel jeans waiting for the bathroom so they could do lines of coke off their friends cocks. After spending the better portion of my life savings on our bottles, I staggered out of the club.

After the club, I went to a strip club for a few minutes. The strip club was fully nude, so there was no booze, which made me a little uncomfortable. I bought a few lapdances, had a stripper offer to blow me, and did a bunch of nose candy. Not too much to talk about there.

This is where my night really starts getting hazy. I blacked out for about half an hour, and when I regained consciousness, I was on the bed of someone’s hotel room. I quickly realized that I was in the room of a well-known male pornstar I had met earlier in the night. There was some type of exchange between us, and the next thing I knew I was watching him fuck some chick he had brought back with him. Mind you this is a king size bed and I was roughly two feet away from all of the action, but I was so gone at this point of the night that watched while going in and out of consciousness.

I don’t know how I did it, but I made it back to my place finally and passed out. When I woke up this morning, I felt great.

I slept until about 2PM, so I had to hurry to the Roosevelt Hotel to catch Larry Flint giving the final keynote address. This was the main reason that I registered for the show, and it did not disappoint at all. Larry Flint is an amazing guy, and he talked about the First Amendment, the future of porn, Paris Hilton (whom he called a ‘two-bit slut’), and various other political issues.

I was really inspired by his determination to fight for his First Amendment rights. Larry Flint doesn’t give a fuck. I could go on and on about all of the amazing things that he said, but I’ll sum it up by quoting his response to the question “Are you proud to be a pornographer?” Without skipping a beat (this was definitely his fastest answer to any question posed), he said loudly, “I’m proud to be a pornographer.” Larry motherfucking Flint.

I had a couple drinks at the Tropicana Bar and in the XBiz suite after the keynote address, but I skipped the XBiz Awards tonight to do some work at home. The show was ultimately very productive, and it definitely ended on a high note with Larry Flint’s address.

Now it’s time to start making some money with the new contacts I made during the show.

I flew into Las Vegas to pack in as much business as possible in a little more than twenty-four hours. I was disappointed that I did not have enough time in the last several weeks to prepare properly for Internext, so I decided to just do a night of partying and a day of meetings rather than attending the entire show.

I checked into my hotel around 4PM, where I somehow ended up with one of the presidential suites for an amazing rate. I don’t know if it was some kind of Orbitz mixup, but I wasn’t about to ask anyone how I was able to land a suite with three rooms, two bathrooms, a jacuzzi, and a huge plasma TV for less than what I would have paid for a regular room at Mandalay Bay (where Internext is being held this year).

After exploring the two bathrooms and three bedrooms in my suite, I made my way to the Bellagio buffet for an impromptu meeting with some people who work on the technology side of the industry. At my table were account representatives from major hosts, programmers, SEOs, and project managers. The buffet was amazing, and the conversation was just as good. We talked about everything from RSS feeds to database replication and load balancing.

After dinner, I went to The Mix Lounge at THEhotel at Mandalay Bay for a birthday party. I had never been to The Mix, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. After my last trip to Vegas, I was pretty disappointed with the quality of clubs, but the people at The Mix were super nice with no attitudes and the view of the Strip from the club is amazing. The Mix is up on the 64th floor of THEhotel, which is located all the way at the end of the Strip, so you can imagine what the view is like. The staff was even nice enough to show us to the elevators and help find our floor when we were all to wasted to do it ourselves.

After leaving The Mix, I did a pretty lengthy suite party circuit. I hit up about four different suite parties and got to hang out in some of the largest hotel rooms in Vegas. What am I talking about? Full bars, jacuzzis, multiple bathrooms, plush couches, personal butlers, bidets, and plenty of hotties.

I had a great time hanging out with major program owners in their suites, and I ended up doing a lot of business. I left the Mandalay Bay around six in the morning, and at this time I was on a mission to get laid by a cougar. Cougars run rampant in Vegas, and I noticed two super hot cougars at a blackjack table when I returned to my hotel at 6:30AM. I figured it would be a great time to pick up some cougars which were obviously neglected during the night, so I attempted to play blackjack with them. Unfortunately, since I don’t ever play blackjack, I lost about two hundred dollars after half an hour and three Heinekens. In true cougar style, the ladies tossed me two hundred dollar chips, which I used to win another fifty dollars, but I was unable to get them back into my room despite spitting my a-game, so I gave their money back plus the fifty dollar profit, and returned to my room a little before 8AM.

I ordered some hotel porn and continued drinking until around 10:30AM because I couldn’t sleep. I slept for about forty-five minutes, checked out, and made my way to the opening of Internext a little after noon.

I had four meetings scheduled before my return flight, so the day was busy. The show looked good despite all of the criticism that it has gotten over the last couple weeks. Hopefully, the Internext people will be able to turn the show around with this one.

Was I successful in doing a shitload of business and getting wasted in slightly more than twenty-four hours? Fuck yes. I got to talk a lot about celebrity traffic for my newest site with very experienced people, which was one of my goals for this show, and I ended up closing not one, not two, but three major deals, one of which was a major investment deal in a new technology. My Internext quickie was definitely successful.

I am about to settle down to a few hours of sleep before I embark on my quickie trip to Vegas for Internext. I won’t be in Vegas for the entire show, but the game plan is to pack as many meetings as possible into a twenty-four hour timeframe and still manage to get wasted and possibly have sex. Can I do it? You’ll have to check subsequent blog posts to find out.

I leave at around 2:00PM today (it’s 4:20AM right now), and I plan on being drunk by 4:00PM. Good times.

As I am a little tipsy right now from a night of drinking followed by an extremely awkard near-sexual experience (possibly more on that later), I would like to make my to-do list for tomorrow morning completely public. Here is what I have to do before I leave for Internext:

1. Do Laundry
   If you are a regular blog reader, you know how I feel about the importance of wearing a nice shirt to social gatherings, so naturally I need to get my clothing in order for this trip.
2. Shave My Pubes
   My southern region is like a forest right now, and being in Vegas means that getting laid is a definite possibility. For the convenience of the ladies, I need to run a #2 clipper over my pubic region and ass before I leave today.
3. Email Various People
   I have to finalize various important meetings before I leave so I can actually do business in Vegas in order to write it off as a business expense.
4. Buy Some Cigarettes
   Why? Because being able to smoke inside of a building is fucking sweet. Here in Los Angeles we are not even able to smoke within twenty feet of a building now.

So that’s about it.  I already have some plans in order for tonight in Vegas, and I could not be more excited about doing business now.