New Year’s Eve: What I Remember
January 5th, 2008
It’s January 5th, which means that I have finally recovered from my New Year’s Eve extravaganza. Here is the blow by blow account (pun intended):
8PM: Dinner
I hadn’t done a nice dinner on New Year’s Eve before, and I guess it is the thing to do, so I met up with friends and business associates at a very classy upscale restaurant in Hollywood for an eight course dinner. About ten minutes after being seated, the first of many group bathroom trips occurred, and when I got back, someone came up with the excellent idea to mix ecstasy into our drinks and the party began. Tablets were distributed, and I crushed up two, which I stirred into my water. After a few martinis, and more bathroom trips, I realized that I was getting pretty fucked up. I mixed another tab into my water around course five.
11:15PM: Party Time
After dinner, I hopped into a limo with about half of the group and we made our way up into the Hollywood hills for a hot house party. We showed up about half an hour before midnight, and the place was totally packed. After a brief scuffle with security at the door, we were pulled in by the host, who looked really stressed.
The e was really starting to kick in at this point, and the DJ was playing my jams, so naturally I was breaking it down on the dancefloor.
I was doing shots off the ice luge like it was my job. Bitches were loving it, but I had to take a quick detour to puke after a pretty nasty Patron shot. I had a quick Trainspotting flashback after I puked when I realized that at least one ecstasy tab probably came up with my dinner. I’m pretty sure that I located it in the toilet, and I was actually considering fishing it out, but then I realized that my friend had brought a ziplock storage bag filled with pills to the party. I quickly located her, and we returned to the bathroom, where we crushed up a few more hits, mixed it with devil’s dandruff, and did some rockstar rails off the sink.
Leaving the bathroom, the vast array of substances I had consumed thusfar really started to hit me. The countdown was starting in a few minutes, so I made my way back outside, where everyone was overlooking the Los Angeles lights and getting ready. After the countdown, I sipped on some Cristal, hit a few bumps, and made my way back to the dancefloor.
2:20AM: Public Sex Begins
By 2AM, I had been going hard for about six hours, and there was no end in sight. Some of the other partygoers did not have the same stamina. Many had resorted to drunken makeouts in various areas of the house, and some had even resorted to sloppy, drunken sex. Things were pretty hazy at this point, but I am pretty sure that I saw some douchebag guy giving his date oral favors in on a couch downstairs, and I am also pretty sure that I stumbled onto doggystyle sex in the master bedroom around 2:45AM. I started thinking that it might be time to leave and hit the next party.
4:30AM: Next Location
After some more ice luge shots, we made our way to an afterparty going on a few miles away. It was hosted by a porn producer, and the ratio was insane. There were pornstars all over the place, and when I walked in at around 4:30AM, I noticed that no one else seemed to care that the sun was about to come up. Everyone was doing lines off the kitchen island and pounding vodka like it was midnight. Definitely an intense crowd.
One of the rooms at the house contained a stripper pole, and I saw more tits, ass, and lesbian action in that room than I saw all last week. And I look at porn all day. I was surrounded by a collection of the nastiest chicks in porn, and none of them seemed to mind getting naked as long as the blow kept getting poured out.
9:00AM: Maybe it is Time to Leave
After the sun came up, I started to feel a little worn out, and I was thinking about heading home. Fortunately, I got some more e handed to me, which I knew would keep me going for a few more hours. The party was still going strong, and it was one of the most bizarre situations I have ever found myself in. Granted, I have been know to do all-nighters, but I always feel horrible once the sun shows up. At this party, no one seemed to care at all, and the party was actually getting more packed as it got lighter.
11:00AM: Jacuzzi Action
The chicks at this party were totally fucked up, and I suddenly found myself in a jazuzzi with about fifteen other people. Most were unclothed. I was starting to get hungry and realized that it was almost lunch time.
1:30PM: New Year’s Day Brunch
How my body was able to continue after noon (marking more than sixteen hours of partying) is beyond me. For some reason, everything seemed normal. We decided to get brunch at a nice hotel in Hollywood. Brunch was delicious, but I concentrated mostly on the mimosas. One can never have too much champagne on New Year’s Eve.
3:45PM: Am I Really at a Bar
After brunch, someone came up with the bright idea to finish our supply of blow and then hit up a bar. I puked after a shot, returned to our table, and finally hit a wall. I was totally cracked out and about ready to go home.
5:15PM: Return Home
I’m sure that the cab driver knew what was up as he drove me home. I was in a complete daze, cracked out, and barely able to communicate how to reach my house. The cab ride seemed to take forever. I tipped my Persian cab driver fatty and got inside, smoked a joint (to offset the stimulants), and passed out around 5:30PM.
What a night. I haven’t gone that hard since the shows over the Summer, and I have the deadly AEE/Internext combination in Vegas coming up next week. More on that in a bit.
Happy New Year!