It’s always funny to see who gets fired after a big porn show. One of the luxuries of not having a boss is that you can get as wasted as you want, make a fool of yourself, hit on people you shouldn’t be hitting on, talk shit on major adult industry players, and you can still be sure that you are not going to get a pink slip on Monday.

I love seeing who gets fired as a result of his party antics after every show, but truth be told, I prevented a a sales rep from a MAJOR adult industry company from getting the axe over something he did to me on Sunday night. I also have a humorously disturbing story to go along with this claim, but I’ll save it for my next post when I do my obligatory Internext wrap up.

I’ll leave you with an autoresponse that I just got while trying to send a certain affiliate manager an Internext follow up email. I met this guy for the first time on Thursday night, really hit it off with him, and saw him throughout the show. Too bad he is no longer with his company because I was really looking forward to doing some business with him. I must disclose that I am not completely sure he was fired, but it does look quite curious when someone is repping a company pretty hard at a show and then is mysteriously no longer part of the company once the show is over. Maybe too much partying? Here’s the email, edited for everyone’s privacy:

Dear affiliate,

This email is to inform you that ***** is sadly not working
with **************** anymore. This address will thus be
disbanded shortly. In the meanwhile, please forward your
request to ********. Your request will be dispatched either
to ******** or to ********, our new account managers.

So sad.

This scene happened about three chairs over from me, poolside, at Internext this afternoon.  The image itself isn’t all that shocking, but consider this: the sex act performed above was not filmed for distribution.  No, it was filmed for personal enjoyment, and the two people involved met approximately forty-five seconds before this picture was taken.  I heard their fucking intro.

Plus, the chick is a little fat and the dude has a handlebar mustache.

As an added FYI, I’m starting to be pretty drunk since I just finished another $200 pitcher of Mojitos (real price).  This concerns me because it is only about 3PM here in Florida.  I have a long evening ahead of me, so I should probably start in on the cocaine to compensate.

Oh, also there are about fifty strippers poolside right now, so I need to ditch this Wi-Fi connection in my cabana and start trying to get laid.

I’m on a private jet right now at LAX. Why? Because your boy Fat Dick doesn’t fly with the common folk. Also because your boy Fat Dick had a couple friends at a major porn company who owed him a favor. Suffice to say that we have packed a private jet with plenty of tequila and are bound for Ft. Lauderdale International Airport. Unfortunately one member in our crowd is still MIA, so we are playing a drinking game called ‘take a tequila shot for every fifteen minutes that go by.’ I’m probably going to puke in a few minutes.

Anyway, it is time once again for an awesome paid vacation business networking opportunity. Yes, my friend. I am talking about Internext. I have an itinerary for the show that is three pages long, and I also have an incredible appetite for alcohol and drugs. We’ll see how things turn out.

I will try to send at least one update, complete with pics, from Florida, but no guarantees. Operating my Blackberry once the madness begins will be quite a chore.