My computer just crashed two times while I was trying to check out some ass clown’s Internext pictures. She emailed me a link to the picture page, which I figured would be harmless. Boy, was I wrong.

When I say my computer crashed, I don’t mean I had to kill Firefox and restart it, I mean my fucking computer died. When you are a big deal like me, you always have tons of important docs opened and you can’t always trust that autosave has your back. Fortunately, I only lost a few minutes of my valuable time. It could have been much worse.

What was the problem? The ass clown (who is incidently extremely hot) slapped together a gigantic page with over thirty gigantic images. How gigantic? Most were over 5MB.

I’m tired of people who don’t understand that I don’t need a high-res pic of them getting drunk somewhere. I don’t need to see the 1280×1024 version of your new fucking baby. It’s ugly enough as an 800×600 pic.

If you are expecting a complex tutorial on how to resize images, you’ve come to the wrong place. Why? Because resizing images is fucking easy and anyone can do it and everyone has a little program on their computer that can take care of it in like two steps.

Don’t worry, you don’t need to download the latest crack of Photoshop. You don’t need to download anything. You can use MS Paint. Here’s how:

Step 1: Open Your Image in MS Paint

Here’s an image that I was resizing for Interracial Jumpoff.

Step 2: Select ‘Stretch/Skew’ From the ‘Image’ Menu

This is extremely easy.

Step 3: Fill in a Percentage Smaller Than 100

Make it small because I am getting tired of seeing your gigantic images.

Step 4: Save Your Image

Wow, look how much smaller and more manageable it is!

Step 5: There is No Step 5

That’s it. Go post your smaller image on forums and email it to your friends. You will find that people will actually take the time to download a smaller image. Yes, that 5MB image you sent to your friend of your first gay experience was ignored.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 22nd, 2007 at 10:49 pm and is filed under Rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.