I’m really smart.  Lately I’ve been good for at least four solid ideas each week.  I just wish that I had enough time to develop all of my genius ideas instead of having to choose the best of the best to devote time to.

My latest site launch is a result of an idea that I had more than a year ago.  I hit a couple roadblocks with the development of this idea.  Figuring out how to lay the site out was a big one.  Actually, I’m happy that I didn’t launch this site a year ago because if I had done so, the layout would have looked like poo.  After the layout was figured out, there were some legal problems which delayed things for far too long.

Anyway, fuck it, I’m proud to announce the launch of DOESITHAVEAPENIS.COM.

The concept is simple: I throw three gender-ambiguous models at you, and you try to decide which models have penises and which models have vaginas.  Currently, I am adding three new models each day, and once the database grows enough I am going to enable a ‘full random’ mode so you can play for hours at a time rather than just a few minutes each day.

I am confident that the following will ensue as a result of this site launch:

1. The site will become an immediate success on college campuses across the country.
2. Viral marketing will cause the pageviews to go through the roof.
3. I will become even more rich.
4. Many copycat sites will emerge.

In regard to number four, I would just like to say right now, on September twenty-third, two thousand and six, that DoesItHaveAPenis.com is, and always will be, the original ambigious genitalia online pornography gaming sensation.

Oh yeah, and you can see naked chicks and shemales on DoesItHaveAPenis.com.

Anyway, enjoy the site.  I am going to continue building it out and offering more features, but I couldn’t wait to launch it.

So tell a friend and get the Does It Have A Penis revolution started.  The world has waited long enough.

On Thursday night, I had a few drinks, almost got in a fight with a dude who was talking with a fake English accent, then I decided it would be a really good idea to get into one of my servers and start making some improvements I decided on earlier in the week. Bad idea. I ended up deleting my MySQL database server completely.

My next mistake was asking my admins to take care of the problem for me. Everyone knows that tech support is for pussies. Anyway, fast forward about thirty-two hours, and my database server is back up-and-running, with all data successfully restored. You can officially relax and masturbate to some free porn.

I’ve done a lot of stupid things as a result of drinking through the years. There was the time that I accidently urinated all over a cocktail waitress that I brought home, the time I decided it would be a good idea to call my dad and tell him that I am gay, the time I puked in someone’s sink, the whole domestic violence debacle back in ‘04 that I am not legally allowed to talk about, the time I managed to get someone to try to kill me within three minutes of meeting me, the time I thought it would be a good idea to eat three McDonald’s Filet-o-Fish sandwiches, and so many more. Deleting my database server is probably my most costly mistake, although my dad did disown me for like three weeks until the tape of me banging a hot college slut surfaced on the internet and an advertisement found its way into his email box.

I picked a bad time to delete the backbone of my projects. Why? This is a very exciting time. I have several projects I have been working on for quite some time that are ready to launch this week, and my current sites are kicking some serious ass.

Basically, people are talking. Around town, there is some buzz about what is going on with your boy Fat Dick. I haven’t blogged in a couple weeks, and people are starting to form their own conclusions. Some people are saying that I locked myself in a North Hollywood bathroom where I’ve been doing H-Bomb for the last week. Others are saying that I have finally moved to Europe as I’ve been threatening to do for quite some time, but that I am having difficulty with the different voltage bullshit they have going on over there.

Your boy Fat Dick is alive and well and working hard. I’ve been working 12-15 hour days with short breaks to drink heavily. I’m not going to give any major details about my upcoming projects, but I will say that your boy may be shifting his focus into more mainstream projects and looking at new ways to deliever the excellent product that I push.

In any event, sorry for being a drunk ass and deleting my database server. I know that everyone needs his daily dose of the Fat Dick.