Your Trip To Vegas Sucked
May 28th, 2006
I don’t know about you, but I have the fever. What fever? Memorial Day Weekend fever. I am feeling quite festive after a little bump in the road on Friday night, and my Memorial Day Weekend is shaping up nicely. I’m all about themed blog postings, so I thought that I would shine a little light on a Memorial Day Weekend Staple: the trip to Las Vegas.
You know what I’m talking about. You and your buddies are bored a couple weeks before Memorial Day Weekend, and you decide that it would be a sweet idea to plan a savage trip to Las Vegas where you fuck multiple strippers and/or hookers, lose a lot of money on the blackjack tables, get drunk at a club you shouldn’t be allowed into, and hit on plenty of cocktail waitresses. We’ve all attempted this type of Las Vegas run. Perhaps you and your crew have up’ed the ante with several different types of drugs, bets on who can fuck the most chicks, or public urination dares.
The best part of the Las Vegas Memorial Day Weekend trip is when you return to your office on Monday and exaggerate all of your stories in order to make it seem as though you actually had a really sweet trip. For example, instead of ‘My buddy and I went to a club but we couldn’t get in so we got drunk at a dive bar and tried to fuck two chicks but they went to the bathroom and never came back,’ you may say something like ‘My buddy and I got bottle service at this club and had these really hot hookers all over us because we were spending a shitload of money and then we fucked like three of them in the ass but when it came time to pay they said we were free because our cocks are so big.’
Basically, we can all see through your lame exaggerations, and we all know that your Vegas trip sucked. Of course, Fat Dick has your back with a website that is seriously going to help you with damage control for your shitty Vegas trip.
The website I am referring to is called Whore Wagon, and its premise should be self-explanatory. All of the content on Whore Wagon is completely original and exclusive, and it is all shot by a dude who has a passion for fucking hot chicks in the back of limos in Vegas. Seriously, all this guy does is roll around in a limo, pick up chicks, fuck them, then drop them off. Of course the camera is rolling from pick up to drop off.
How does this website help with your shitty Vegas trip? Well, you can do one of two things with the content on Whore Wagon (besides beating off to it). First, you can use it to evaluate exactly how shitty your Vegas trip was. To do this, you can check out all of the high quality pics and videos on Whore Wagon and see if you did any of the hardcore sex activities in them. For example, if you went to Vegas, fucked one hooker in the pussy and then jizzed in the condom you were wearing, you could conclude that your trip to Vegas sucked a lot after you notice that a lot of the content on Whore Wagon involves a guy fucking a one chick in the ass while another chick licks his balls. Of course, there are always massive cumshots on Whore Wagon after the sex.
The other way to use Whore Wagon is as a valuable resource for planning your next trip to Vegas. If, after your lame Vegas trip, you decide that you want to stop being a huge pussy and actually want to plan a savage trip to Vegas, you can use Whore Wagon as a guide for your next attempt. There are plenty of travel agents out there, but I’m going to go ahead and bet that if you use them to book your next Vegas trip, the trip is going to suck and you are going to pay a lot of money. For the price of a membership to Whore Wagon (much less than a travel agent), you can live the dream and actually have a savage Vegas trip.
If you don’t know where to start in planning a savage trip to Vegas, of course I am going to help you out. For your convenience, I have noted several activites that are necessary for a savage Vegas trip and listed them below. You’re welcome.
Hang Out With Naked Hot Chicks On Expensive Cars
I don’t know who you think you are, but if you are not hanging out with hot chicks who are naked on expensive cars in Vegas you are a fucking loser. Not only are both hot naked chicks and expensive cars abundant in Vegas, but they also gravitate towards eachother. You can check out this gallery from Whore Wagon to see why hot chicks and expensive cars go well together.
Fucking Chicks With Really Bad Boobjobs
If you have gone to Vegas without fucking a chick who has massive scarring from a shitty boobjob, you have not gone to Vegas. If you have a successful trip to Vegas, it should be very difficult to leave without fucking at least one chick who has had a bad boobjob. What does a chick with a bad boobjob look like? Check this free gallery.
Watching Two Chicks You Just Fucked Fight Over Your Cum
This gallery proves that Vegas whores love cum. Sometimes a Vegas whore will be so thirsty for cum that she will get visibly upset when she spits your cum into another chick’s mouth and the other chick swallows instead of spitting it back. There is an unwritten code of conduct among Vegas whores that says the one to first receive the load of cum keeps it, regardless of how much cum-swapping went on.
Fucking A Whore With A Shitty Tattoo
Whores with shitty tattoos are abundant in Vegas. Problem is, they always charge way more money than they are worth. Imagine this… you go to buy a car, and the one that you want has been tagged by some neighborhood hooligans, but the dealer attempts to charge you full price AND a bag of coke for it. It’s the same thing with tattooed hookers: they always want full price and a bag of coke, but their tattoos always suck and decrease their value.
Cumming On A Whore’s Tits After You Fuck Her In The Ass
Vegas whores aren’t quick to let you do them in the ass, so the best way to accomplish this is to catch them by surprise. What I like to do is start out doing a whore doggystyle, and then just take my dick out and shove it in her ass when she is cumming. She will be distracted when she starts to cum and you can easily capitalize on that distraction to get yourself some anal action. Obviously you should cum on her tits afterwards. This gallery shows you this move in full.
Get An STD
The resolution on the pictures is huge. So huge, that I actually think I found a chick with genital warts in this gallery. Check out this picture. If you look closely, you will see some bumps that I believe to be genital warts. Slightly questionable, but if you return from Vegas without at least one STD, you are a huge pussy.
Obviously, I am only scratching the surface of activities that will make your trip to Vegas cool. You may want to look into other activities such as midget sex, contests to see who in your group can do the most drugs without dying, or public sex.
In any event, Whore Wagon has tons of content coming at you straight from Vegas. Cop yourself a membership and you will get tons of ideas for shit to do during your next weekend Vegas getaway.