For the last couple weeks there has been a strong stench coming from the home office, and it has not been the usual stench of feet. I have been trying to track down this smell, and I finally found the source this afternoon. Silly me! The smell was coming from my development server, and the exact source was a new site I have been waiting to unveil called interracialcumwhores.com. The smell was the large amount of money I am about to make from this amazing work of art.

I couldn’t be more excited. Not only do I love seeing small white chicks get slammed by gigantic black meatsticks, but I love making money as well. The interracial niche is one of the hottest at the moment, and, if my calculations are correct, dedicating more sites to the niche will be a profitable move for me.

The site is built on an idea that I had after I finished beating off one afternoon. I want to build a bunch of shitty sites in a short amount of time, pump them full of as much traffic as my servers can handle, and then sit back and count my money while doing drugs with hookers. Purists would say this is an unrealistic possibility. I would say my name is Fat Dick Simon and I live by my own rules.

I put this site together in approximately two hours. I am going to update the links whenever I feel like it. Fuck daily. The name of the game is using the site as a traffic pump to my more legit sites that do not skim traffic to other TGPs. By the numbers, if I pump Interracial Cum Whores full of several hundred thousand unique visitors, then do my traffic trading successfully, I will have a 100k visitor per day that I hardly ever have to fuck with. I can send those hundred thousand visitors anywhere I want, and you best believe most of them are going to see my other sites and love them.

Soon to be developed is InterracialJumpOff.com. That one is going to be a heater. Holler!

Podcast fever? I’m over it. I’ve been over it since I found out what a podcast actually was. If you get excited when you hear the word ‘Podcast,’ remind me to not show the trick I do with my penis where I swing it from side to side to make a slapping sound against my legs. You would explode with excitement if you saw that. Trust me.

I got a call the other day at about 7am from a client. This happens every once in a while and always pisses me off. At first I think ‘Wow, shit! Thank you [client] for waking me up so I can enjoy the expensive drugs and booze I consumed last night for another minute and a half!’ But then the hot ass bitch sleeping next to me gets mad and my happiness turns to anger and my anger turns into sleepiness.

I rejected the call and hit my voicemail when I woke up around 4pm. It was a non-porn client which made me extra excited about listening to the message. ‘Hey, Simon! I was thinking earlier and I want to do Podcasts on our site!’ Wow! You are a fucking genius. You have really been keeping up with the latest technology trends and you about to profit from all of that work! That’s what I was thinking, but then I remembered that podcasts suck and that God does not like Podcasters. I know it may not be fair, but that’s just what God told me when I talked to him last night.

So I called the client back and explained to him why Podcasts are not cool.

A Podcast is just an RSS (Really Simple Syndication) file with a link to a media file (usually .mp3). It is NOT streaming media despite popular belief, and it is NOT anything amazing. RSS 0.90 has been around since 1999. The technique of linking to media files through RSS feeds, called enclosure syndication, has been being used widely since 2001.

RSS is an XML format used for syndicating websites and web content. XML has been around for a really fucking long time. Don’t even get me started about why AJAX isn’t cool.

Ok, so we have established that a Podcast is nothing new. You have to encode your media as an mp3, and the mp3 format has been around for a long time. Then you have to link to your mp3 using an RSS feed, and the RSS format has been around for a long time as well. So there must be something else that makes Podcasts cool, right?

Wrong. Like I said, Podcasts are not streaming, so the end user must download the entire file in order to listen to it. That’s not really that cool. If you have an mp3 and you have a place to post the mp3, why not just link directly to the mp3 so the user doesn’t have to fuck with opening with the RSS feed and saving the link?

Podcasts can be useful for a series of media files that are regularly posted because once a user saves the link to the RSS feed in iTunes, he doesn’t have to fuck with visiting the website to see if a new file was posted. But is that really all that cool? Not really. Plus, about 99% of Podcasts are incorrectly used.

Most Podcasts simply include links to one file that will not be updated thus making them completely useless. This happens because a lot of web authors want to be trendy so badily that they will use any new technology even if its use in context is completely unnecessary. Don’t believe me? Look at how a majority of developers use AJAX.

So we have established that Podcasts aren’t cool. Thus, no need to get excited when you hear about them. But you can check out that penis trick i mentioned earlier if you are interested.

I don’t know about you, but I pretty much can’t contain my excitement when I think about Taco Bell’s latest menu addition, the Crunchwrap Supreme.  However, I am wondering why no one has sued the food chain for false advertising.  Billed as being highly portable, the Crunchwrap Supreme, pictured below, might be the least portable item on Taco Bell’s menu.

Um, this doesn’t look very portable to me, but I could be wrong.  I have never tested Taco Bell’s menu items for portability by eating them under extreme conditions, but imagine eating this fucker while running.  Bad news!  Once you get six to eight bites in, you are fucked.  Your shirt is covered in delicious Taco Bell flavor.

Let me paint a picture for you:

You are going water skiing, but you don’t have time to stop for a sit down lunch on the way to the lake.  Instead, you roll through the Taco Bell drive through on the way and cop some quick food.  Recalling a recent advertisement you saw on TV, you order the Crunchwrap Supreme.  Of course!  Just what you are looking for!  Eating while driving would be far too dangerous, but a menu item known for its portability is exactly what you are looking for!  You’ll be able to eat your lunch while on the water!  Right?

Wrong.  After breaking out the Crunchwrap Supreme while water skiing, you are going to get a messy surprise.  After getting half way into it, this ‘portable’ disaster creates a huge opportunity for failure.  Look at the picture above.  When cut in half, the Crunchwrap Supreme contains about six inches of mess waiting to happen.  A standard Taco Bell burrito creates only two and a half to three inches of failure opportunity.

Portable?  I think not.