I don’t know if you’ve heard, but the buzz around town is that my blog is getting to be a pretty big deal. Google is giving me some love, bitches are getting slickies over my recent posts, and the teachers who told me I would never amount to anything are pretty fucking pissed.

I’ve been talking up my blog out at parties to get laid. It always works. But over the last few days, I have been seeking validation. Is my blog really as big as I am making it out to be? My log files show a steady upward trend of web traffic, traffic to my sponsors is starting to convert, but I was looking for more. I wanted proof that my blog was, in fact, a big fucking deal.

That proof began rolling in about seventy-two hours ago. How? Two words: comment spam. A quick glance at my blog administration area this morning got me excited. Thirty-five comments awaiting moderation. Could this be the influx of comment spam I had been hoping for? Why yes, it is, and yes, my blog is officially a big fucking deal.

I normally don’t really have a problem with spam. It’s kind of annoying, but I respect spammers for what they do. These fuckers live the life. They are always in a broke ass East European country, and they always have a large amount of cash on them. They don’t give a fuck. Just glance at information about this spam bust. $20,000 in gold fucking bars? I want that shit. My problem with spam comes when it is not cleverly disguised as not spam. I get a chuckle when I open a virus in my email because it is cleverly marked as pictures from a friend I don’t have. I laugh when I send money to a guy in Nigeria who wants to be my business partner. This is all good.

Spammers with no skills are douchebags though. Glancing over this comment spam, I was surprised at how much the spam industry is off its game at the moment. Fuck, you can’t just hit me with a string of one hundred links to Viagra. Finesse that shit. Give me a story. Tell me you are connected with some foreign government and need me to send you money so you can send me more money back or some shit like that. I’ll approve your comment. I don’t give a fuck. Just come at me with some game. Please.

I am calling out to the spam industry. Step up your game. Hit me with some shit that will make me chuckle. I miss your clever easily believe scenarios such as the Microsoft one where you do some shit and Bill Gates sends you a fatty check. That shit was gold.

This entry was posted on Saturday, March 25th, 2006 at 11:43 pm and is filed under Rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.